Head games

I have a 10K on Saturday.  It's at my personal paradise and this will be the third time I have gone out for this particular run.  The first year I did it I remember thinking what a great place to have this going on.  I was so excited and full to anxiety as I watched the weather turn from really nice to possibly cold and blustery.  I worked myself up into a frenzy but it was mixed with so much excitement I couldn't separate one thing from the other.  It turned out to be a great weekend.  I actually got a medal in my age group that first year...for my first 10K.
Last year I participated but had not run a single step in the two weeks prior to the run.  I'm not sure why.  I didn't have the same first time excitement and maybe since I had run a half marathon months before I felt like I could take a break? Whatever the reason, the weekend was great but I wasn't happy with myself about the run.
This year I have really mixed feelings about going out there to my paradise and to the run.  The last time we went we were in a bad car accident on the way back.  No fault of ours and nobody was hurt but I must say the thoughts keep going through my mind of traveling there again.  I can't help it.  I'm not dwelling but I can't say I don't feel a little something about it.  The race itself - I'm worried about since I was so unhappy with how I did last year.  I have been running much more consistently than last year but I haven't done a six miler in a while.  I've been keeping my runs around 3-4-5 miles and yes, I know that is fine but the doubt goes through my head anyway.
So basically I'm playing an extreme amount of head games with myself.  Worried about this and worried about that when really I know if I get past it all it comes down to this: I will be at my favorite personal paradise on Friday, the run will be 8:00am Saturday morning and it's one of the nicest places to run - right along the water.  Afterward, I get to go have fresh oysters that will have come right off the boat that morning.  I get to be where I would rather be, run where I enjoy so much to run, and eat some of the freshest things I could eat.  Somehow, if I turn my mind in that direction instead of the other it really is an all out win-win situation.  It shouldn't be the other.  If I could only get the other out of my head.
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