Get going

Get up, get up, get up.  My alarm is tinkling out it's pre-programmed tune to let me know it's the time I set it to wake me.  It really is too early.  The fact that I was awake 45 minutes before it went off doesn't help.  I think to myself I should get up and head to the gym.  I could squeeze in at least 30 minutes and still have time to shower and dress before work.  I think that and get up.  But somewhere in the time during making coffee and brushing my teeth the thought is thrown out.  I've abandoned the idea of rushing out for that workout to rush back home to get ready to rush to work.  I have so much more time after work.  It's makes sense to go then. So I will put it off and take the chance of the possibility I will abandon the idea of going after work.  Like I have done too many times already.
It makes me wonder where my motivation went.  How did I lose it and, more importantly, how do I get it back? Maybe a break is what I needed.  Nah.  I'm feeling fine except for this lapse.  Jay keeps telling me to do it when I feel like it and don't worry if I don't.  I can't seem to process it that way.  If I left everything to when I feel like it I don't think I would get a whole lot done.  But I don't know.
I know I am going to have to break through soon.  I know the one thing I don't feel like doing is this nothing I've been doing.  I don't want to wake up to give myself the opportunity and then talk myself out of it.  So if it makes sense not to go early and I have time after work it seems I already worked out the logistics.  If only I can get my head out of the mix and stop this mental processing.
I can be such the pain!
TT